Use the strategies below to connect when:
- You are single and feeling alone
- You are in a relationship or marriage and feel distant from your partner
- You are going through a breakup or divorce, feeling alone and isolated
- Your relationship is okay, but you want to grow your circle of friends
- Any time you want to feel closer to others
With family or people you are close to do the following:
- Open your heart a little, intentionally.
- Look the person in the eyes.
- Really see him or her.
- Smile.
- If possible, reach out and touch him or her.
- Notice something he or she is doing well and comment on it.
- Notice something he or she has or is doing for you, and thank him or her.
- Then do it again and again.
The person you have been doing this with will feel encouraged and happier, and will give you back that same energy, in a positive and meaningfully way. This will make you feel energized and connected!
Especially practice this process with relatives, family members or your relationship partner when you are upset or annoyed with them. If you connect this way with someone who owes you an apology, you are much more likely to get the apology you want after this process of connection.
And if you do this with someone with whom you have not connected before or even for a long time, your relationship could shift to warmth in an instant!
When out in the world, at work, running errands, at the gym, getting a meal or a cup of coffee, etc. do the following:
- Open your heart just a little.
- Look people in eyes.
- Really see them.
- Smile.
- Notice something they are doing well and comment on it.
– Or if they are doing something for you, thank them.
– Or share something funny about yourself to have a laugh together. - As you do this, watch their eyes – you will see them come alive and start to shine.
You just connected with a stranger!
Go on your way knowing that you were able to create a moment of connection
Notice that even that little moment warmed your heart and know that it warmed theirs as well.
Smile and do it again with the next person you come in contact with.
This will make you feel encouraged, energized and connected.
When you go home, do this with the people at home, or reach out to a friend and family member to connect this way!
Lastly – if everyone around you is celebrating with others, and you have no plans, make plans! Do not be alone. You need people to connect with! If you don’t want to go spend time with family or friends, find something you would enjoy doing or go volunteer at a shelter.
Even if you are surrounded by strangers, using the tips in this article, you could walk away with friends!
Are relationships difficult, even thought other parts of your life work well? You are not alone! If you would like to unravel the mystery of your relationships, so they can work well too, let’s talk in your Get Clarity telephone or in-person Coaching Session. More information on setting up the session is here.
