What would your life would be like if you were free from your past, so nothing from it weighed you down or occupied your thoughts?
What would happen if you were free from every relationship that hurt you, from every person that angered you or slighted you, from every breakup or divorce, from every betrayal?
Or how about being free from the negative experiences in your current relationship, so that you can be present with your partner, instead of holding on to baggage of what happened between the two of you days, weeks, months, or years ago?
In this article I show you how to intentionally shift your perspective so that you become grateful for everything that has happened in your life – including past and present relationship problems. As a result of this shift you will become much happier and freer in your life.
This perspective shift is something I strongly believe in and is the cornerstone of my own personal work.
Since my early 20’s, for over 20 years now, I have been cultivating gratitude for everything that happens to me. I am not always grateful for things that happen when they happen. It nearly always takes me a while to digest, understand, accept, and deal with life and what it throws at me.
But, be it relationship troubles, health issues, parenting or money woes, or a thousand other troubles that life brings – as well as a thousand other blessings – I end up making sure I am grateful for it all.
I am grateful for every single event in my past, even the child abuse I was subjected to. I am grateful for every relationship breakup and even the divorce that brought me to my knees. I am grateful for every financial and business struggle, even when the economy crash nearly cost me my business. I am grateful for every painful moment, every trouble, every sorrow.
And to be sure, I am so very, very grateful for all the joyful, happy, loving things and people in my life. But that part is easy!
Why do I work on being grateful for everything?
As a result of cultivating gratitude I am free of resentments, hurt, anger and regret. Nothing from the past keeps me up at night. I get no baggage that drags me back while I am moving forward in life. I am happier and more open when I feel grateful. I have a wide open heart and connect with people fairly easily.
And this does not only work for me. In all cases when I work with clients to shift their perspective to gratitude for what has happened to them, they end up with the same results: free from the past and happier and more open in the present.
If this sounds like something you want to try in your life, here are techniques to develop gratitude as a life perspective:
1. Decide that no matter what happens, you will extract something positive out of it. You will learn and grow as a result, you will shift in some way that serves you, you will develop more courage, resilience or compassion, etc. The shift you must allow here has to be to always open up more to life in people, never to close down or protect more.
2. Teach yourself to let go of what life wants to sweep away from you, with the attitude that you will be ok without. Resisting change that is happening in your life is futile. Open to change, let it happen and find in it things that impact you positively. As you deal with what is being swept away, continually ask how this event can serve you and what is bringing you instead.
3. Forgive people and let them off the hook emotionally. Think of each person as bringing you gifts, positive lessons, positive changes in life, messages you need to hear, or even a wake-up call. No matter what they do, take something that serves you positively from every interaction.
Using these three shifts in perspective you will develop a positive, grateful context for your life, where your past, present, and future will start to become part of a more meaningful, continuous experience of upward momentum.
The more your life can be perceived through a continuous positive context, the happier and freer from past baggage you will feel. Life and love will become easier, more fulfilling and more joyful.
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If a loving, healthy, wonderful relationship is what you want, come work with me as your coach in a Get Clarity 30-minute coaching session.
You will start creating THE relationship you want in your very first coaching session!
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